“I Disagree.” This has been said to me many times. All to often it just ends there. The person making the statement is unable to give any thorough, well thought out explanation as to why they disagree. They “just do”. When countered with a few “why?” questions they will often get uncomfortable or even upset that you haven’t merely accepted their disagreement and left it at that.
Don’t get me wrong. I love disagreement. I actually find it far more interesting than agreement because it is an opportunity to learn something new or get a different perspective which can influence my own. But the disagreement has to be real. It has to be based on a clear chain of logic.
If that isn’t provided all I see is someone who has heard something which conflicts with their reality. This raises uncomfortable and complex questions that may be accompanied by distressing feelings.
They don’t really understand why they disagree and often they don’t have any real interest in finding out. This is an example of operation on a shallow level of thinking – a realm of thought which is dominated by instincts, fears, preconceived ideas and prejudices. This is the land of simplistic thinking. The land of confusion. We need to cut through this to find the real answers.
Sometimes we may disagree with our interpretation of what a person is saying but not with what they actually mean to say. This is why there needs to be a lot of clarification so that everyone is aligned in understanding what is actually being discussed.
I think it is ridiculous to tie the concepts of being “right” or “wrong” to personal ego. We are all just seeking the truth. Let’s seek together. This attitude is a damaging and sometimes dangerous barrier to effective communication and empathy. Whether we discover ourselves to be “right” or “wrong” it doesn’t matter because either way we have discovered the truth!
“How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct.”