Imagine that we were able to read each other’s minds. We could step into them and see through their eyes.This would be the pinnacle of communication. But all we have is words and actions to transmit to others how and what we are thinking and feeling. On the other side we need to be able and willing to receive the transmission and able to decipher it correctly.
I do not consider myself to have a close relationship with anyone unless there is a high degree of pure, open communication. I think there are three main elements to this:
Sharing: We need to share everything about our lives; past history, present events, future aspirations. I want to know their thoughts (all of them!). I don’t have time for people who filter what they say or keep closed up because they are insecure – unless they are willing to improve.
Trust: There needs to be a high degree of trust. Not only that you won’t lie by speaking falsehoods but also that you willingly share things that you know I will not like.
Understanding: There needs to be a strong desire to reach consensus. If there is disagreement there can only be four outcomes. 1) You change the other person’s mind. 2) The other person changes your mind. 3) You both change your minds. 4) You agree to disagree (just a polite way of deciding that the other person is an idiot). Only the first three of these scenarios is acceptable.
If you do not have an extremely high degree of communication then you do not have a genuinely close relationship. Aren’t close relationships what life is all about?
Share your mind. Be interested. Care.